The glorification of BUSY

When we think of addictions we think drugs, alcohol, eating et al; but let me introduce you to one of the subtle ones that I keep hearing and seeing across multiple platforms….”BUSY”, yup you heard me…”I’m sooooo busy”…and somehow I think we have begun to applaud, or see that as an “accomplishment”.The truth is most of us are busy juggling multiple balls, but when I hear people regularly claimin…g this statement, I can’t help but hear “I want you to think I am amazing!”

Don’t get me wrong I think as humans we all have huge capacity to live full, accomplished and busy lives, but there has to be a balance in life? If we are so “busy” – it would suggest that something, if not many things are suffering – health, family, relationships or all of them. We all only have 24 hours a day, it’s a matter of how we choose to use them.

There is ALWAYS a choice to take “down” time, make time for recreation, get out of the rat race, downsize, make time for that friend, to put the laptop away and play “uno” with the kids.

I haven’t been to a funeral yet where the eulogy suggests that “their legacy was busy”…

What are you being busy with – and do you have the balance?
Lisa xx

http://www.eshecounselling.com.au
http://www.mindheartbody.com.au

Who are they?

I saw a headline on the news that read ” selfish cow…..”

It has haunted my thoughts all day…..at what point did we as a society get so judgmental and critical that we would publicly and horrifically pass comment on someone else’s absolutely pure joy?

So she is 48 years old…yup we can all do the sums at her child’s 21 st…but who says any other mother will even make it to the age of 70 a…nd why does that matter?.

For someone like myself who can relate to a very long and painful journey like Sonia’s I can empathise the behind the scenes experience…and I am sure she is worried sick about all of the potential risks associated with her age but she is going for it courageously and now publicly, and this bubba is nothing less than a miracle however it came to be..

So dear trolls…back off and let’s celebrate each other’s colourful journeys, applaud courage and tenacity, smile knowingly and embrace humanity without the tag that says ” normal” is the only option for happiness….

Congratulations Sonia et al, may this experience restore all the painful years and may you have abundant joy and happiness
Lisa xx

 

Mind Heart Body

I believe there are many “fork in the road” “lines in the sand” or “aha” moments that happen across our lives. You know the ones I am talking about; they stop you in your track, challenge you to make change or choices outside of your safety zone OR they become a defining moment.

I have had a few in my time, I spent many years in the corporate world climbing the so called ladder which truthfully I loved. Through a variety of circumstances and a “calling” I jumped ship to engage in tertiary studies that would take me on my own personal ride of self-development walking closely alongside others on the same path.

It was a bright sunny morning only a few years ago, September 9^th 2011 to be precise, I woke up sat on the side of my bed and the feeling of heaviness and heartache was palpable. I remember thinking to myself “I cannot do this anymore, I cannot be in this place another day”. I was close to 7 years of fighting to have a baby. My mind was tormented, my heart quite literally broken and my body was completely shattered. I am grateful I had enough clarity, albeit the size of a grain of sand, to know that to create change, I needed to create change…sounds enlightened huh?!! I got up, got dressed, put on my sneakers and cried all the way to the gym car park where I faced another “fork in the road” – I turned the rear view mirror to see my face looking back at me and began a dialogue that sounded something like this:

“You are going to get your butt out of this car and spend 5 minutes in that gym, and you are going to do it because you know you need to do something, the only thing waiting for you at home is bed so if you want to lose another 24 hours, go for it…” I have often laughed at the potential gym junkies chugging down protein drinks and eating steaks in their car watching this women literally talking to herself in the mirror….#crazyperson

I did go in that day, for five minutes, it is all I had the energy for…and the next day and the next and five months later I ran my first 10 km’s and I wept…I wept because I was exhausted, but mostly because I was so grateful that my body took control, and started speaking to my heart and mind, clearing a few things up along the way in an effort to gain control back. Those 10 km’s represented a lot to me, as an asthmatic it was not your average achievement just physically, but it was the emotional and mental journey that began on that treadmill. Nothing had changed in my circumstances, but I was stronger, healthier, and more confident and was back in the driver’s seat across all areas of my life.

Since that day I am humbled and thrilled to say that I now have a beautiful baby boy who I introduce as my miracle man. He was worth the years and tears. My counselling is still very much at the grass roots of my world, it is such a privilege, but earlier of this year I branched out into what was a 5 year dream hidden amongst all my “stuff”. I wanted to add a women’s health retreat based here in Adelaide to my repertoire; the details are simple, an opportunity for women of all age groups to have that “talking to themselves in the mirror moment”. It couldn’t be further away from a detox, boot camp, weight loss program – I believe it is something far greater than that. It is time set aside for individuals to draw a line in the sand in any or all of the areas of their mind, heart or body that need attention. Holistic health and wellbeing starts from the inside, mostly from a place of self-care, nurture and dare I say some tough love.

Life happens to all of us, different stages, times, and experiences that can rock us to our core. We all have a toolbox that we carry through life, but when was the last time you added, replaced or upgraded them?

So here are a few helpful tools that should be non negotiables:

• Exercise, doesn’t have to be strenuous – just move your body like I did for 5 minutes, walk around your clothes line, take the stairs, grab a take away coffee and pave the footpath. It matters!
• Eat well, don’t diet, or follow fads – it is not rocket science, use the 80/20 rule, size does not matter, health does.
• Engage with friends, family or a counsellor – relationships are vital for health.
• Educate yourself on options – there are ALWAYS choices, being stuck shouldn’t be one.
• Enjoy life – plain and simple, have fun, laugh, increase the JOY factor!

Whatever it is you are facing in your world currently, just know that the trifecta of your MIND, HEART & BODY hold the key;

If your heart is trying to heal, your mind and body can help by being strong.

If your mind is battling, your body and heart can support if they are well.

If your body is struggling, your heart and mind are your greatest weapon.

And from me to you; change creates change – however big or small!

x Lisa

http://www.mindheartbody.com.au
http://www.eshecounselling.com.au

Dear single parents…

This is a simple post to all single parents!

I don’t know the circumstances surrounding your situa…tion and that information is irrelevant to me for what I am about to say;

You are an incredible, inspiring, and warrior like individual plain and simple! I have several close friends who are raising children single handedly, I see numerous mums and dads in my counselling who are trudging through the trenches and I often sit back in admiration at their capacity.

What I would love to say to you is that I know there are days you don’t actually know how you are going to get out of bed, pay that bill, work a double shift, make that sports day, or be the emotional rock that you need to be for your children.

BUT, the truth is if you are doing one of those things you need to stand in the mirror and high five yourself. Don’t ever underestimate your capacity is in fact larger than most living with an extra set of hands. I know that you don’t believe that, but as we watch from the sidelines, we are your greatest cheer squad and we see things you don’t.

Amongst all of that it is so important for you to recognize that you matter in the equation, your health, your feelings, your dreams, and your passion. I know it’s hard to believe that, because there seems to be no space left but, all I am asking is for you find 5 minutes every day to focus on one of those things. Journals, vision boards, a note on the bedroom door that says “back in 5” and just breathing, sitting with a hot cup of coffee and enjoying the sunshine with no interruption.

Where you have external support, lock them in for help. Don’t feel like a burden, I would be so thrilled and would drop everything to help my favourite’s wherever I could – chances are yours would too.

Where there is no support system, create one, online, local community groups, counselling – none of these things will be comfortable but could be the beginning of a new you!

So from me to you…I honour, respect and am in awe of you TRULY. And one day, I hope your children will sit back and recognize the effort, struggles, sacrifices and compromises you made for them and say thank you but until then WE ALL DO!

You got this…I know you do!

X Lisa

http://www.eshecounselling.com.au
http://www.mindheartbody.com.au

IT’S TIME TO BE BRAVE……………………..

Eshe Counselling

I initially wrote this blog a year ago – when 75 new cases of childhood sexual abuse in our schools was brought to light.

Its now a year later and our news headlines are similar – children sexually abused in state care, Rolf Harris convicted of sexual abuse, children sexually abused in child care – WE NEED to be brave, we need to stand up to this it is TIME TO BE BRAVE!

Please share and lets get this message out there, Bec XX……………………….

We’ve all seen the headlines of the papers over the weekend – 75 cases of child sexual abuse in 4 years in our schools. A child raped in after school care.

The fact that the statistics of child sexual abuse are as high as they are is frightening, and in my opinion totally unacceptable! 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually…

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Survivng the school yard

 

Surviving the school yard…
I have had several conversations recently with personal friends and families who come to see me professionally surrounding the increasing problem that is school yard bullying. But none more upsetting than the discussion I had with a 14 year old cancer survivor who has many physical and emotional challenges as a result of her battle who is at the brunt of horrible, nasty bullying on a daily basis. I was seething, and everything in me wanted to make a school yard visit personally and use power, intimidation and the very same behavior that she is met with, but of course that’s not the answer.

But what is? And more importantly “whose are they?’. I understand kids can be cruel, but in all honesty if my son was causing the anguish and long term scarring that goes hand in hand with this form of cruelty I think I would literally cry. As parents it is our responsibility for what happens in the school yard – sure teachers are there to oversee and protect but they can’t be everywhere at all times.

The Bullied:
Parents the greatest gift you can give your children in the face of this epidemic is resilience. Build into their self-esteem through other sources; mentors, friends from alternative connections, get them connected in sports, community activities that make them feel a sense of belonging and acceptance. Give them permission to stand up and protect themselves. Telling them to “ignore” is honestly not enough. Share with them your own life experiences of being an outsider et al. don’t make them fend for themselves completely – protection is incredibly important. Make the teachers, principals, and counsellors aware of what is happening – they don’t know what they don’t know.

The In between:
The in between are those kids and parents that are unaware of the school yard antics because they haven’t been touched personally by it. You are blessed! I personally think you have the most responsibility and opportunity – #sorry! Do you know what it would mean for a child that is being torn to shreds from the inside out to be invited to the birthday party or sleep over that they would NEVER normally be a recipient of? Teach your child to be that person who makes a difference and stands up for the underdog. Imagine if it was your child stepping in to protect another beating, or verbal tirade by interceding the event. What if it was your child that at their 20 year reunion was greeted with…you saved my life, I didn’t suicide because you cared…GAH…..that is the potential of what teaching you’re ‘in between’ child to love, be kind and take care of humanity could look like?

The Bullies:
Parents, there is no judgment if this title belongs to your child. Chances are you might not even know it’s yours and that’s ok until you know! There is a complete psychology behind “bullies” and they don’t just grow out of it, so the early you can know the easier it is to ensure they get all that they need also to be whole and healthy individuals. It is never too late to turn it around and if and when you do – a standing ovation will belong to you! But these bullies belong to someone, and so if you are not sure ask questions, watch, practice curiosity and then get on it!

Let’s not pretend this is just a school yard problem – it’s a humanity problem. However, children are not equipped to deal with the level at which they are experiencing such hateful behaviour. They deserve our support, understanding and proactivity – there are have been too many lives lost through suicide over not being able to face another day at school for being too fat, skinny, different, smart, dumb, a dork and the list goes on….

I promise to take responsibility for my child which ever category he fits into….will you?

When life brings you to your knees what makes some people get back up?

Watching Turia Pitt on 60 mins on Sunday night was just amazing, what an inspirational, courageous woman. As a Counselor I sit across from many people who face life defining moments. Some whose lives have crumbled into a pile of nothingness from an event that has left them unable to get up and grapple with life any longer. I sit across from people when they decide enough is enough and that their life must change and so this is the time they get up. If we could bottle whatever that was in people that made them get up and fight again – we would and we would be millionaires. God knows enough people have tried to come up with the “thing” that has this effect on people.

 

What we know from a psychological perspective is that our histories, childhoods, personalities, events and traumas all affect our ability to get up and face another day when life has bought us to our knees. But in the face of all of these things there is something we can do!!!

We hear a lot of banter around self help circles at them moment like “just think positive thoughts and the rest will take care of itself” well I can categorically tell you that is BS!!

It is impossible just to think positive thoughts? Why you ask?

Well our minds are like a machine, a machine that produces thoughts, our minds do not differentiate between positive/helpful thoughts and negative/unhelpful thoughts, the minds whole role is just to produce thought after thought after thought.

 It is our ability to look (SELF AWARENESS) at these thoughts, which is the KEY!!!

The more SELF AWARE you become and look at your thoughts then you can CHOOSE which thoughts to give your attention and energy to. So that is the most important difference – you can’t just THINK positive thoughts but you can CHOOSE to give your attention and energy to the positive/helpful ones.

Here is an analogy that I use with all my clients who have thoughts they would like to change. Imagine you are on a platform of a train station in the middle of two tracks. Trains come every five minutes on both tracks – one track is the unhelpful thought train track and the other is the helpful thought train track.

This is an analogy of your mind – both unhelpful and helpful thoughts will always come but you have to step off the platform onto the train – the more self aware you become (with practice) the more aware you will become of choosing more helpful thoughts instead of unhelpful thoughts. We have all been there – you know the unhelpful thought train comes and you get on and before you know it you have gone down 5 stops and ended up in a town called Shitsville – you feel flat, awful, sad and depressed. It’s a long way back from here, you can’t just jump on over to the positive helpful train – its just to hard from here.

However the first part of breaking this cycle is to become aware that you are on that train and then choosing to get back to the platform where you can choose again. The more you practice this the easier it becomes, the more you choose the helpful train the more you want to.

So this is one of Turia’s secrets, God knows she has had a billion of those unhelpful thought trains leaving the station, but she doesn’t get on it. Instead she CHOOSES the more helpful thought, which in her case came down to something as fundamental as choosing to focus on the helpful thought of

“I am lucky to be alive”.

 This is ONE of the KEY differences between people who make it through and those who don’t.

Dr Russ Harris an Adelaide Psychologist has written a wonderful book on this

“The Happiness Trap”, it will cost you $20 from any bookshop and will be a great investment. Every family should have a copy, we need to know how to do it for ourselves and also, so we can teach our children. Its not about having a rosy life or pretending that the shitty things didn’t/don’t happen, its about acknowledging them and then choosing the most helpful thought to go forward with.

Need help getting on the helpful thought train – Lisa, Shannon and Myself are experts, so book a time to change your life.

Bec XX

Rebecca Paul is a Principal Counsellor at Eshé Counselling.  She has been counselling for over 10 years and is passionate about helping individuals achieve the best LIFE possible.  Rebecca specialises in all things “she” related including Marriage and Relationships and provides the space and expertise for men and women navigating through a variety of issues. You can see her website by clicking here, follow her Facebook page by clicking here or book an appointment by calling her on this number 0433 792 705.

Infertility, the road so many travel…

Infertility affects numerous couples and is an ever growing “industry”, sadly. It is an area of professional interest and expertise, where I get to spend time with many couples who are on the journey – some just starting, and others weary from the long and windy road.

Today, I wanted to speak directly to the families and friends, who are inadvertently walking along side loved ones on this path It is so common to hear ” I just don’t know what I should and shouldn’t be doing?” So below is a list of hints that may be helpful:
•Don’t ignore or dance around the subject, even if you say the wrong thing it is WAY better than pretending and not acknowledging their pain by being silent.
•Check in regularly with them to see how they are travelling, give them the opportunity to say “I don’t want to talk about it” rather than assuming they don’t!
•Educate yourself to some degree on the IVF process – you don’t have to be a medical expert, but learn enough to be able to hold a conversation and be interested and not ignorant of the process.
•Understand that there are some “events” that are just too painful for couples to attend – don’t push the “should” on them
•Learn their “coping style” – it can be incredibly helpful to understand how they are responding to sadness and grief.
•Don’t make decisions for them i.e. ” I thought it would be better for them not to know about Sally’s pregnancy right now?”
•Most girls on the journey don’t want others to feel like they can talk about their joy of pregnancy, motherhood and all things in between. However, none of them want to hear of the “accidents”, “I got pregnant first time” “I am planning to get pregnant after I am bridesmaid so I am not fat in the photos” “I hope we have a girl because we already have 2 boys” – Save those conversations for your other girlfriends.
•Don’t tell them to “relax”.
•Treat them “normally”.
•Encourage them to get counselling.
•When they are going through treatment – make a meal, send a card or a text
•Don’t pass on information to others about their circumstances – keep it sacred and safe.
•Don’t forget to look out for the men – they are often the silent partners in the process who get forgotten but who matter equally.

I understand that relationships are two way, please understand that being involved in a journey such as infertility changes and challenges women to the core. Your daughter, sister, best friend is doing the very best she can to keep her head above water, but doesn’t have a lot left in the tank to perhaps be who you need her to be in return. Understand it is not a forever thing, its not even a selfish thing – its a survival thing. Love her enough to fill in the gaps and go the extra mile even when she perhaps doesn’t deserve it. She will thank you one day.

x x Lisa

Lisa Bondarenko is a Principal Counsellor at Eshé Counselling. She has been Counselling for over 5 years and specialises in all things “SHE” related including Marriage &Relationships, and Infertility. Contact details are http://www.eshecounselling.com.au or eshe@adam.com.au

SHE TALKED….

Tonight’s “She Talked” is no doubt going to leave you wanting to hear more from this amazing lady – I actually sent her a note saying “I cant wait to meet you in person and hear more of your story!”. The good news for anyone living in Adelaide – she has a fabulous gig happening at the Fringe so jump on over and learn more about her show and business. Its all about the JOY factor x x Lisa

What is the best thing in your life that takes up most of your “thought” life?

http://www.thejoyprotocol.com.au – The Joy Protocol: synthesising my comedy coaching and training to teach people how to get the best from life, because it’s not difficult, it will benefit them and their loved ones and using the ripple effect it will spread positive influence around the world.

If you could go back and tell your 15yr old self one thing, what would it be?
Trust your instincts.

What is the most helpful piece of advice anyone has given you?
In my late 20s after a bit of a breakdown I was undergoing Counselling. For the first six months I seemed to do nothing but cry during the sessions and I asked my Counsellor if I would ever stop. She told me that when you delve into the depths of your sadness and it feels like you’ll never get out, not to worry and keep going. She said it is like jumping into a swimming pool and going down down down, but one day your feet will touch the bottom of the pool and you will push up up up to the surface, and if you’ve done the work properly, you will never have to go to those depths again. I have found that to be so true, and a comforting knowledge to take with me through life.

If you created a bumper bar sticker what would it say?
“I’m upright and breathing – everything else is a bonus” – my way of saying ‘no excuses’

What do you do to relieve stress?
I watch Coronation Street with a G&T

What is one tip you would give for balancing your personal and professional life?
Accept that when you are passionate about something you will probably not have balance in life. Negotiate with your loved ones on that and when you are with them be fully present and loving.

Famous five you would invite to your place for dinner?
Jane Austen
Banjo Paterson
Emma Thompson
Clive James
Peter Capaldi

When I look back on my life I wish…
I’d written my thoughts and feelings down a lot more. I’m fascinated looking back at old diary entries, but I wasn’t consistent with them.

When you are down in the dumps how do you get yourself back up?
I work out why I feel that way and give myself time to feel the feelings. Then after the allocated time I work out what parts of the situation I have any control and influence over. I then fix what I can and engage gratitude, positivity and action, to get back on an even keel.

What couldn’t you live without?
I actually find this question really difficult to answer! There are a lot of things I love to have (great coffee, quality gin, a nice place to live) but one of the things that the events of my life has taught me is that barring death and fatal illness I can live and survive without most of the things we take for granted – I find I’m not attached to anything so much that I couldn’t live without it.

What is one of the proudest moments of your life?
I’m lucky that I have a few, so I can’t pick just one! They would be; when my son was born, marrying my beautiful husband in 2009, when we won the Adelaide Fringe People’s Choice award in 2007 for Titters! and the day I became an Australian Citizen – I had lived here when I was a teenager but my parents decided to take me back to Scotland when I was 16 without taking out citizenship. I was heartbroken. The day I became a citizen on 17 July 2001 was the day I felt complete. I will always be Scottish, and I will now always be Australian too.

What is your definition of success and/or failure?
Success – when it’s a win for everyone and ecological (good for self, loved ones and the world in general).
Failure – no such thing as failure, only feedback!

What is one of the most challenging seasons of your life and what got you through?
When I was eight months pregnant with my son a policeman came to our flat one morning and handed over a warrant for my then-husband’s arrest. That day I found out that our entire life together was a tissue of lies, the flat we lived in was not owned by him, we did not have an investment property, he was in debt, he had no job (even though he had been leaving the house every morning) and so on. I was terrified and distressed and he was so contrite I didn’t leave.

Then when my son was three months old my mum passed away. My body shut down in so many ways and I underwent a kind of breakdown. My period, which had just started after the pregnancy stopped again. I walked past a travel agent one morning and they had an unusual poster in their window – a large plain sheet of paper written on in black marker pen and it said “Fly To Adelaide”. I looked at it and decided I would. My sister still lived here and I knew this was a healing place for me.

We were totally skint – didn’t even have the money for the bus fare home from town – but I managed to borrow some money and book flights for us so that four months later we landed here for a month’s R&R. My feelings that Adelaide was a healing place for me proved true when my period started again four days after arrival. I regained my strength, stamina and resolve here, and went back to Glasgow to create a better life for myself, my son and my widowed dad. I emigrated here with son, dad and ex four years later – the month I paid off the loan I took out for that initial trip!

What gets you fired up?
Cruelty – especially to vulnerable beings – animals, children and the elderly. We have no right to be cruel. We do have a responsibility to care for them.

Which three things would you take on an island for one week?
Assuming food, shelter etc. is taken care of I’d take a copy of Stephen Mitchell’s translation of the Tao Te Ching (I use that book a lot!), a G&T kit (Tanqueray and Schweppes) and pen and paper.

What book are you reading at the moment?
Flourish by Martin Seligman. Love it!

What has been your favourite travel destination and why?
Glencoe in Scotland. I have to go there every time I’m back in the UK. Ancient mountains in a deep glen with a haunting history. I reconnect with a part of my soul up there in the Western Highlands.

What character of a movie would you LOVE to play?
Shirley Valentine! I love Willy Russell’s writing – he writes so well for women. And Shirley’s story is the story of so many men and women who have got into a rut and lost their passion for life. The story shows how it can be regained and how it is possible to revitalize long term relationships. And it’s very funny. Quite perfect, really!

In your business, what is the most rewarding experience?
Watching clients take what they learn and running with it. One coaching client came to me just over a year ago wanting to switch careers to work with and for children. She worked hard at her coaching homework and this week commenced work as the CEO of one of SA’s largest Children’s charities, and that’s just one story amongst the many. Very proud of my lovely clients!

What is something not many know about you?
I’m a qualified hairdresser, a trained actor, and I wrote the copy for the advertising for the first sponsored television program in the UK!

For more information on Maggie’s upcoming Fringe show jump on over:
The Joy Protocol

She Talked

I know its HOT HOT HOT right now all across the country but tonight’s SHE TALKED is one to grab an ice cold glass of liquid and settle in for an amazing read! I met Sarah at a networking function and I was so taken by her presence, spirit and story I felt lshe was a MUST for our Sunday night sessions. Not only is she a single mum to the gorgeous Jacob, she is a hard working business woman, and her story is one of courage and sheer determination to live everyday as if it was your last – and for Sarah, she experienced what was meant to be her “last” and came back from death itself to live an abundant and large life! x x Lisa

What would your best friend say about you?
Big Loving Heart that wants to help the world

Tell us about your typical day in a few sentences?
Wakeup, check FB, emails, and messages. Wake up my son, get him organized for school and drop him off. Come back home for brekky take pills and vitamins respond to emails, and manage me social media pages. Start my hairdressing clients, eat lunch, check my online direct selling business, pick Jacob up from school, prepare snack and organize if he has homework, make dinner while at the same time put on a load of washing, do dishes, organize Jacob for bed time. And then its time for ME!

What is the best thing in your life that takes up most of your “thought” life?
My enthusiasm towards life in general and all the wonderful opportunities out there. My wonderful imagination that keeps me dreaming big. I’m always coming up with new ideas for businesses or products. Its very overactive.

If you could go back and tell your 15yr old self one thing, what would it be?
Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks, just get out there and give it go. Reach for the Stars and that “Attitude” Problem that some people scolded you for is going to save your life in the future ,so keep it up!

What is the most helpful piece of advice anyone has given you?
My Mum has been my best supporter and cheer squad.
Yesterday is History, tomorrow is a Mystery , all we have is now and today and that is why its called the Present.
I used to waste a lot of my precious energy on living in the past and wishing I could change things, my mum made me realize their was nothing I could do to change the past but I could turn my life around now and in the future!!

If you created a bumper bar sticker what would it say?
When Life Gives you Lemons Make Lemonade

What is one tip you would give for balancing your personal and professional life?
I’m still trying to work that one out LOL

Famous five you would invite to your place for dinner?
Richard Branson, Marianne Williamson, Oprah Winfrey, Katy Perry, and Johnny Depp

When you are down in the dumps how do you get yourself back up?
I let myself grieve the situation and sit in the moment for a while. I call it “Having a Pity Party”. I don’t let it last for long usually only about half a day, then I pick myself and start to take action to change the situation. I look for solutions and use all that energy into positive outcomes instead of using my energy to wallow. I also look back onto my life 2.5yrs ago and remember the fight of my life to survive my cardiac arrest and multiple organ failure and I think that no problem is hard enough that I cant get over. I also talk out loud and say; YOUR NOT KICKING ME DOWN TODAY UNIVERSE!!

What couldn’t you live without?
I’m a sucker for my mobile phone!! HA HA, its my everything,. communication, work tool, email, radio, Internet, camera and video! I love technology.

What is one of the proudest moments of your life?
Definitely the birth of my son Jacob, wow what a wonderful gift of life and love and to understand what the real meaning of “Unconditional Love” is.

What is one of the most challenging seasons of your life and what got you through?
July 2011 – December 2022
On the 22nd July 2011 I suffered a Cardiac Arrest and was clinically dead for 45 minutes as doctors and nurses at the Royal Adelaide Hospital fought hard to save my life. That night they told my family that I had a 50% chance of making it through the night and if I did I would have multiple organ failure and be brain damaged. They we informed to gather my family and friends together to come and say their goodbyes. I woke up 2 days later in the Intensive Care Unit with Doctors in my face asking if I knew who I was and where I was. I went to lift my arm to show him my arm band only to realize I couldn’t move, my whole body wouldn’t move, no matter how hard I told my brain to lift my hand it wasn’t working. No one had answers for my family as they had never seen a case like mine before. I was poked, prodded, tested and touched until they came to the conclusion that I had an Auto Immune Illness that was muscle related. They worked out that I didn’t have organ failure when a friend of mine came to visit me and told me to blink my eyes – I blinked so hard. Because of the Cardiac Arrest I did have Multiple Organ failure, my kidneys and respiratory system weren’t working and my liver decided he was on his way out to. When I woke up all I could think about was my son Jacob who was six at the time, I was determined to get home to my little boy. He was NOT going to be with any other parents, that is what kept me going.I was gong to make it home to that boy I didn’t care how it was going to happen. At the time I had a lot of thinking time as I was unable to speak for 6 weeks with a tracheostomy helping me breathe. I had to learn to give into trying to control my environment and to also let people help me because I had no choice. I told myself I could either hate it and be angry, or learn just to be and accept it. I was lucky because of my age the RAH did everything possible to help me to get better, including a physiotherapist to start working on getting my movement back. It was my ATTITUDE that got me through because the more the doctors gave me grim outcomes and medical stories the more determined I was to prove them wrong!! I also believed everyday in miracles, I prayed and would tell myself that miracles DO happen and I was going to be one of them. 5 months later with lots of determination and help from the medical staff, I walked out of hospital on a walking stick and now everyday I give the universe gratitude for the small things in life.

What gets you fired up?
Women’ s Equal Rights
Violence Against Women and Children

Which three things would you take on an island for one week?
A Genie, to grant me 3 wishes
Sunscreen
Sarong

What is your greatest hope for 2014?
To be financially free by the end of the year

How do you nurture ALL of you?
Definitely with time out for myself, plus I eat lots of salad fruit and vegetables. I only drink Ionized water which has an Alkaline Ph Level, meditate when I can, dance, sing out loud, and love op shopping. I also LOVE to do garment detailing, I bead garments, it totally relaxes me and its therapeutic. I use chemical free household products to cut down the amount of chemicals I come into contact with everyday. I use Young Living Oils everyday, I diffuse them, put some of them in my cooking and special water concoctions I make up with cinnamon, vanilla, green tea, lemon slices and my Alkaline water. My ultimate is getting a beautiful Massage. I have a massage therapist with the most amazing healing hands.

What goal have you set yourself?
To become a Millionaire in 5 yrs Time!

What has been your favourite travel destination and why?
Bali, I visited in July with my Mum and my Son Jacob, I stayed at Sanur Beach it was so wonderful,. Our driver took us too see more local attractions. We stopped off at a Balinese school, I wanted to show my son what it was like to live with very little money. We took lollies for all the children, they were fascinated with Jacobs green eyes and blonde hair. The same for my mother she has blonde hair blue eyes. The place where we stopped was far away from Tourists. I loved the experience a lot. I also had a Nanny to help me with Jacob on the trip, I asked her to bring her 3 yr old daughter to the Resort to play with Jacob, she had never seen an Ipad or Laptop. She had also never driven in a car. We took them out shopping and we bought Pizza for lunch. Our driver for the week was fantastic, I keep in touch with both of them still. I loved the scenery in Bali, I loved the Balinese people and I loved feeling like I was royalty for a week. We all had a fantastic time.

What character of a movie would you LOVE to play?
Roxie Hart -Chicago, I love to Sing and Broadway melodies are my favourite

In your business, what is the most rewarding experience?
I am a professional hairdresser, make up, body/face painting artist – I love to see peoples faces light up when they look in the mirror. It makes my heart feel so happy. My business motto is “Be your own kind of Beautiful” because every human being is unique in their own way and I like to make it shine!

Sarah Cotis Make – Up Artist and Hairdresser